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I feel like I’m in High School all over again with the intros…

This is the post excerpt.

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I’m not really good at introductions so let’s see how this ends up. My name is Irasema. Its pronounced E-rah-seh-mah. Yes, I know I have a weird name. I have lived with it for 20 years of my life so far so I’ve learned to deal with it. I’m from South Texas. And no, I’m not talking about San Antonio, Texas. I’m talking about 4 hours more South. The place called the Rio Grande Valley. Where the border is about less than an hour away and everybody has to get breakfast tacos from Stripes before going to school/work. I work for a multi-million (maybe billion) dollar company talking to people all day at a computer. I know, totally boring right? But it helps pay off my bills. I am also a DACA kid. AKA DREAMER. I was one of the first kids to be put underneath that so I am forever grateful for that. Its been a crazy journey so far, and its no where near over yet. I wish I knew what the future has in store for me but I don’t. Nobody does. This blog will be documenting majority of the things I go through, mainly my stories so far on my journey to becoming a permanent resident. It will mention the struggle, the laughs, and the heartache I’ve been through and so on. I appreciate everybody who will read this and who knows, maybe I will be famous for this one day. Hahaha totally kidding. This is me signing off on my first blog post ever.

-Irasema

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Guess who’s back? (and in a different country!)

Hola everybody! 
Forgot about this website for a while but I’m back. Now time to fill you guys up on my OH SO INTERESTING life. Just kidding, these past few months have been pretty hectic. Jacob and I have been ehh. He doesn’t seem to care much anymore, which made me think there was another girl in the picture but according to him, there isn’t. I felt so insecure to the point where I made a tinder and have met some PRETTY INTERESTING guys there. I dont know why it took me SO long to get into the tinder game. It has honestly brought up my self confidence up so much. Besides Jacob, I ended things with my manager who wanted to date me for a year. He would verbally, sexually, and almost physical abuse me and I just couldnt handle it. Tinder was what made me realize as to how much of an idiot i was waiting for him to change. So many guys were wanting to treat me so well and I was waiting for this dumbass to change for me so i could be happy? Like he wouldn’t of changed regardless for me. It felt so great to get rid of the negativity in my life. Slowly things started getting better after that. I’m currently in Ciudad Juarez awaiting to get my permanent residency actually! 12 hour drive was completely amazing! Tomorrow are my biometrics and tuesday is my legit sit down interview which is nerve wrecking. For some reason, I only have 2 guys on my mind from Tinder and that’s Sergio and Ramiro. Ramiro is a hot country Army boy with goals in mind and nothing stopping him from striving from success. Has one son and i guess we can say he is still technically married….but besides that he is really sweet….and caring. He gives me the attention I’ve never gotten which is amazing. Sergio is a sarcastic asshole who I can be myself with. From El Paso and also an soldier boy. He makes me laugh and he is orginally from the valley like myself. He is currently trying to come to ciudad juarez to come see me but who knows how that will go. Will I eventually find love with one of those two? Probably, probably not. Will I possibly fall in love with them even when I shouldnt, hahaha, maybe knowing my stupid heart. I’ll keep you guys updated with my life from now on. Keep dreaming you guys and God bless.

Bye bye bye!

I’m pretty sure everybody has those friendships that are really going to last like forever and ever and turns out they never do. Well, this is gonna be me venting about a situation like that. So I had this one friend, met in 8th grade. She was a transfer student, I was really a nobody so we became best friends. She was my go to person, I’d spend my days with her all the time in school, everybody knew we were super close. High School came, still best friends. Of course, high school was all about meeting new people and exploring who you were. She was the type of tomboy girl who was in ROTC and I was wanting to be popular, being involved with Class Officer stuff, wanting everybody to like me. We were the strange best friend combination in high school. I eventually got class historian position and would drag her to all my meetings which I knew she hated deep down because it involved “preppy kids”. I was in Pre-Ap classes, she was in advanced. I excelled at my classes and she really didn’t. During my Junior year, she ended up transferring to an alternative school for kids who were at risk of not graduating. We had made a promise that we were going to graduate together but that didnt happen. During my Junior year, I forgot all about her. I made new best friends to replace her, she made new friends. Graduation Day came. I remembered the promise we made. I saw kids from the alternative school show up because they graduated on time….but she wasnt there. Turns out, she still didnt get to pass her classes. So I graduated with my friends who weren’t behind. Fast forward a year later. I get a text from her telling me she’s finally graduating and she wanted me to go. Of course, I went. Ever since that day, we were inseparable. And I mean inseparable! We would go shopping together (I’d spend my money on both of us), go out to eat, go to the island, party, meet guys together, etc. My parents weren’t very fond of her being my friend. They thought she was a bad influence. Which she kinda was, she got me into smoking cigarettes, partying, rebelling against my family, and basically getting me to turn into the person I hated in high school. Eventually I got her a job at my workplace and we worked together for about 3 months. She ended up getting fired soon enough. Then something happened that my parents made me stop talking to her so much. We started to hang out less and less. Eventually she got a boyfriend who she bragged about ALL THE TIME to me. Then soon enough, she unfriended me on facebook one day, snapchat also, basically she removed me from her life. What did i do? Nothing. I did nothing to her, but I didnt really care that much because I know i did nothing wrong. Fast forward again to today: she texts me. She gave me a spare key to her house a long time ago but i never got to return it when we stopped talking. I was legitally going to burn it the other day. So she asks for the key back and i say yeah of course i can return it. I was going to return it right away so i can get it over with but then the chick says she isnt home right away and that she’ll be there in 2 hours. Of course, I didnt want to see her. I asked if i could drop it off at her mailbox but she made a big scene about it. She said she wanted it back face to face. Which was stupid either way. I got to her place and shes taking forever and a day to get out of her house and had her head down the ENTIRE TIME when i was returning the key. Like, what was the whole point of me seeing her face to freaking face if shes going to have her head down in shame? LOL. Its so dumb. But what I really learned at the end of the day, she wasnt a real friend. She used me for money and left the second she got a dude by her side. I know a true friend wouldnt leave me if she got a guy. She would include me in her life still but unfortunately, this chick wasn’t going to include me in anything. But I would like to thank her regardless, thank her for being there for me growing up and making me realize what a FAKE friend looks like. Hope you have a great life with your ugly dude, don’t call me in the future saying your pregnant or engaged saying you want me to be a part of your special day because I wont answer or go. I have found my true friends now who actually love me regardless if I have money or not. So in the words of NSYNC, “BYE BYE BYE!” 

And My Faith Will Be Made Stronger

As I am sitting here on my bed, the only thing running through my mind is how I let my faith in God fall. Now, if this is a touchy subject for some, feel free to stop reading. If you have doubts about God and what he can do, then I encourage you to keep reading. But one thing I won’t do is shove my beliefs down your throat. I’m not that type of person. But I am the type of person and tell you about how my God has changed my life and brought me to where I am today.
Today I went to church for the first time in months. I’m not gonna lie, I was sitting in the parking lot for about 5 minutes terrified because I didn’t know what to expect. I strained away from God for so long, I went down the wrong path for about a good half year and followed the outside world. I finally got courage to walk into church and I’m not gonna lie, it felt good to be back. Praise and Worship was done, then it came to the bible study and I sat in on the Youth class. The youth were reading from the book of Daniel for the past couple of weeks and today they read about Daniel in the Lion’s Den. So, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know all the stories in the bible nor have I read the whole bible yet (although that’s on my bucket list). I never heard of this story until tonight. To make a long story short, its about Daniel being thrown into a Lion’s Den because of his faith in God, He prayed to God 3 times a day when he shouldn’t have been doing so. The people who put him there thought that his God wasn’t real and that God wouldn’t of protected him from the hungry lions. Daniel was untouched in that Den. The people who put him there in the Den later got thrown into the Den for false accusations and then they got devoured by the lion instead. (Talk about Karma lol!) Daniel was untouched because he trusted God so much to protect him. He never lost his faith in God. God had a plan that whole entire time! The reason as to why this spoke to me so much is cause I walked away from the path God had set out for me about after I left high school and got my current job. I worked with drinkers, smokers, partiers, etc. I became super close to them and the fact that I was still so little, I thought I wanted to be like them. So carefree, so careless, reckless, I thought they were so much fun. It was fun at first, I’m not going to lie. Then I started talking to the wrong kinds of guys at work (mind you I was still with my current boyfriend at the time) and all those guys just wanted to sleep with me because of my age and appearance. I ended up loving the attention from the guys because cmon, who doesnt love attention now and days. (And before any of you assume, No I didn’t cheat on my boyfriend. Those guys would try to flirt with me at work but I never really gave them the time of day, like I said, i loved the attention only). I ended up loving the outside world more and more than the world with God in it that I forgot all about my Christian life. I stopped talking about my faith in God, I would focus on my popularity and other things that I shouldn’t of been paying attention to. I realized how bad it got when I would cry every single night after work because I was so stressed. It was bad. Being at church today was an eye opener for me. I realized how many people missed me and cared for me when I didn’t care for them while I was away. I realized how rooted in my faith I was before and how its going to take me a while to get back to that level again. I realized that God never left my side this whole entire time even when he should have left in the beginning of my rebellious era. He had a plan this whole entire time. He knew I was going to have a fallout eventually and I believe he made me steer away from his path for a reason. Today, I prayed for my relationship with God to get stronger. For me to be as rooted in Him as I was before. I prayed for Jacob and I, for us to grow stronger as I teach Jacob to walk with the Lord in hopes that it will bring him peace and comfort since he hasn’t been in a church for almost 12 years. I prayed for my family, for good health and good news coming our way soon once we hear about my residency case. And lastly, I prayed for my “friends”, I prayed that God single out the negative ones in my life and removed them so I can get rid of the negativity in my life. I also prayed that God keep safe the good ones in my life who have been there for me during my hard times. I know it will be a long journey. I know there will be hardships on this path again. But I am ready to face them all because I know I have a God who is stronger than any of us can imagine, a God who will protect me from all evil, a God who loved me so much that he died for my sins (which is alot to be honest), and a God who will never leave my side regardless of everything I go through.

March 24th, 2016

Sorry for the late blog post, work has been hectic but that’s a story for another time if i remember to blog again. Today’s blog will be a typical love blog. And before I get started, I am sometimes those people who has hated love all my 20 years of life so far. But I was lucky enough to be blessed to find who I think is my soulmate. So, let me get to the point of this.

So, when I got hired at my current job, I had to get tech certified trained (fancy word to just say I needed to learn how to help out with technical problems over the phone), I left my team being top agent. Before I left, we had 3 people join my team, one of the 3 being Jacob. We had one training where half was an in class training and the rest was on the phones. We were so available on the phones that our team started to have a dance party while waiting for calls to come in. That’s when I noticed Jacob. He was so quiet and kept to himself the whole night. He only talked to one guy that night but would occasionally look at me cause i was being loud as heck lol. We didnt talk at all that night. Fast forward 2-3 weeks after training and I went back to being on a team with Jacob. Jacob found out who I was because of my name. He always asked who I was because I wasn’t there and I had a really weird name. Little by little, I would start to talk to him at work and just pick on him. On one of his first days with us, we invited him to have lunch with the whole team so we could get to know him more…he sat across the table from me that day. Then out of no where, my coach said “Jacob, if your 18, and Irasema is 18, yall should totally date!” BOY WAS THAT THE MOST AWKWARD MOMENT AT WORK YET CAUSE JACOB RESPONDED BACK WITH TELLING EVERYBODY HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME. Dreams Crushed….for now. Either way, I started to look forward to work because we picked on each other SO much. In November 2015, he showed up to work super early one day and I was like “why are you here so early?” and he didnt want to tell me…..little did i know that he came in early to tell everybody he was quitting. I was so sad that day, I guess my feelings developed a little there but I forgot about him a little after that. I ended up finding him on facebook a couple weeks later and sent him a request. I sent him a message but he never responded back. Then out of the blue, in March, he responded back…..we haven’t stopped talking since then. We texted everyday, falling more in love with each other. He worked at a prision so the hours were way worse than mine. But I would stay up to talk to him because he was worth it. He quit the prision job to move to Houston to work. It was really bad because I hadn’t seen him since he quit my job and I got attached by that time. We would video chat through facebook to make things easier. It sucked so much. I would cry because all I wanted was to see him and the fact that he didnt know when he was coming back to the valley was worse. He ended up texting me one day out of no where that he was coming back and staying in the valley again. I was so happy knowing that he was back in the same town as me. I saw him the next day that I could and I was so happy because he was home. He has seen me at my high and low points in life. He accepts me for who I am. He makes me laugh so much, makes me realize that I can do anything I set my mind to, and supports and loves me unconditionally. There has been other guys trying to talk to me while I am with him but none of them compare to Jacob. People have tried to tell me they’re better but in reality, Jacob is SO amazing. My coach from work who said we should date is so happy that him and I are still together. She is the reason as to why him and I are together and we love her so so much. Although we fight with each other saying that my coach loves one of us more than the other, we owe it all to her.  Jacob has treated me like a princess since day 1. He cares so much about me, he is my shoulder to cry on whenever I am frustrated from work, he understands the stress my job brings me and listens to me vent out everything I have on my mind. He puts up with my random anger moment and takes all the shit I give him when he doesn’t deserve to get yelled at. He loves it when I say stupid stuff to make him laugh and act silly around him. He thinks I’m perfect when I feel like the most imperfect person to exist. He knows my whole story about my residency and stands by me completely. His arms are my safe haven and time freezes whenever we are together. He makes me the HAPPIEST girl in the whole entire world. He is truly the person I see myself walking down the aisle with. He is the one I picture buying a house with, buying a car, starting a family with, and so on. He is the biggest blessing in my life. He is my best friend but also the love of my life. He puts up with me and my selfie addiction, my snapchat addiction and also my shopping addictions. LOL. (and yes he has tried to take away my debit card sometimes and tell me to not spend my money all the time, its working btw). I never tell people about my love life, this is basically the first time I ever say it, but he is totally worth bragging about. (reason as to why i never brag about it at work is because everybody there is nosey af.) But yes, he is the love of my life and I couldn’t be any more blessed to have this guy in my life. He is one of a kind and I know that wherever life decides to take either one of us, we will follow each other and support each other endlessly. We’ve been together since March 24th, 2016. One year, 2 months so far…..and hopefully many more years and months together.

And now, we wait…

Yesterday I said bye to my neighbor who so happened to be my second brother. He left South Texas to go join the United States Army. I know I sound selfish and shallow for saying this but I didn’t want him to leave. He’s been my best friend for 5 years. He was my shoulder to cry on and the person who could make me laugh so much in a matter of seconds. This is the story about how we met. Back in July 2012, my sister and I were scrolling facebook and we found the neighbors as the people we may know. Instantly, we started stalking and turns out it was them lol so my sister made me request them and message them “hey arent yall our neighbors” and thats how our lovely friendship started. The day we all officially hung out was July 4th 2012 when they accused us of stealing their dog (it was a joke) cause their dog was in our lawn and we started to play with it. From there, we would spend every day that summer together. We’d play in the street, have dinner together, cookouts, take drives around town blasting music in the car. It was an amazing start to a great friendship. We didnt go to the same school together but we supported each other in everything we did. Our schools were cross town rivals but it was the greatest thing ever because we’d always talk shit about when we would be better at each other in certain sports. News flash, their school was ALWAYS better in football. LOL. fast forward to my senior year, we all worked together at the SAME job. and yes, there was a time when we almost burned down the restaurant. LOL. My neighbors always had the cops called on them because either we were listening to music too loud or they fought with the other neighbors. It was the funniest thing ever. I would always come home late at midnight and I’d see my neighbors outside just chilling and drinking. My neighbor was so over protective of me to the point where he would question me if i came home in a different direction as usual, it was annoying sometimes but he would ask cause he cared alot about me and he just wanted to make sure I was safe. It sucks knowing i wont be seeing him until december. I told him bye on sunday when i was leaving to work but I didnt tell him bye yet. I told him “see you later”…..which made me really sad because I wont be seeing him later. I have to wait until the end of the year. I kept thinking it was a joke and i was gonna wake up the next day and see him outside saying “Haha, im kidding, im not leaving you guys”. Then monday morning came around and i was getting my yeti cup out of my car. He walked outside of his house one last time and was entering his car when he yelled “Bye Chems!” (chems is what he calls me, dont question it lol) and i looked at him trying so hard not to cry and just yelled bye back with a smile on my face….its tough. today has been so tough not seeing him outside across the street. thats the kid i grew up with, the one who gave me so much advice, the one who was my shoulder to cry on for alot of things. I dont know how im gonna handle this. I know there are going to be days when i will just go over to his house and cry with his sister and i know there are going to be days when i post on his facebook wall asking him where he is and wishing he was here. It sucks….but I know the day he gets home will be the greatest day ever because he will come home with the title of being a United States Soldier and that will be the something I will never forget because he will have achieved his dream.

I Lived.

I thought I would be good at trying to write something everyday but that was a horrible expectation I had set for myself lol. Anyways, today is my day off from work and this week was so stressful and emotional. Had my cousin’s graduation Friday night which was so sentimental to me.

Let me give you a little background story on that. My cousin Jesus graduated from High School. He has alot of siblings, i think about 7 to be honest, he is the 3 youngest out of the kids and the FIRST to graduate from his family ever and be college bound. His older siblings? In jail or just have their own families and kids. He graduated RGV Lead Scholar, Texas Scholar, and was also in the Honors program for his class. He is a good kid to be honest, very involved in sports. He was Varsity football Junior and Senior year, Wrestling team Junior year, and Track and Field also. He was in the migrant program in school. His story is a pretty tough one, he never knew his father and still doesnt to this day, his mom abandoned him when he was about 9 years old along with his other younger brothers. She left them in the apartment they lived in for a couple of days while she went to basically go chase her ex sancho. The kids were closed to being placed into foster care but luckily, their grandma took them in. Jesus on the other hand, lived with his aunt under her care. I dont really talk to her even though she’s family but i can honestly say i am so happy she raised him. He is so respectful and has a really kind heart. He didnt grow up with the family he wanted or getting the love he wanted either but he proved EVERYBODY wrong. He was so happy when he saw me in the stands at the stadium graduation day. I look to that boy like if he were my little brother. I went to his football games whenever i got the chance, wrestling meets also, and spoiled the kid whenever i had the chance. He would never ask for much. He was and is so humble. As soon as they let us go onto the football field, I ran to go find him. The second i found him, I hugged him so much and told him how proud I was of him proving so many people wrong….I told him see you later when i left his graduation, little did i know that friday night was the last time i was going to see him since Monday, he boarded a flight to California to go work over there in the summer until he started College. I cried the whole night to be honest. He is going to start in Michigan State in the fall and will be majoring in Criminal Justice. I am so proud of him but i cant help being sad because he is like my little brother. I love him so insanely much and I miss him a lot already…but I know he will be fine and do great things when in Michigan. I couldn’t be any more proud of anybody else. His class song was I Lived by OneRepublic which fits his story so much. I’ve had the song on repeat so much lately. It reminds me of him so much because he never gave up, no matter how much he wanted, he took risks and made decisions no little kid should of. He is such a good role model to his little brothers. He lived through things he shouldnt have but he never gave less than 100% than what was expected him. He took every opportunity that was given to him and made the best of it. He is the only one I will ever brag about so much but because he has honestly grown into a remarkable young man….IMG_20170527_213346_011