And My Faith Will Be Made Stronger

As I am sitting here on my bed, the only thing running through my mind is how I let my faith in God fall. Now, if this is a touchy subject for some, feel free to stop reading. If you have doubts about God and what he can do, then I encourage you to keep reading. But one thing I won’t do is shove my beliefs down your throat. I’m not that type of person. But I am the type of person and tell you about how my God has changed my life and brought me to where I am today.
Today I went to church for the first time in months. I’m not gonna lie, I was sitting in the parking lot for about 5 minutes terrified because I didn’t know what to expect. I strained away from God for so long, I went down the wrong path for about a good half year and followed the outside world. I finally got courage to walk into church and I’m not gonna lie, it felt good to be back. Praise and Worship was done, then it came to the bible study and I sat in on the Youth class. The youth were reading from the book of Daniel for the past couple of weeks and today they read about Daniel in the Lion’s Den. So, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know all the stories in the bible nor have I read the whole bible yet (although that’s on my bucket list). I never heard of this story until tonight. To make a long story short, its about Daniel being thrown into a Lion’s Den because of his faith in God, He prayed to God 3 times a day when he shouldn’t have been doing so. The people who put him there thought that his God wasn’t real and that God wouldn’t of protected him from the hungry lions. Daniel was untouched in that Den. The people who put him there in the Den later got thrown into the Den for false accusations and then they got devoured by the lion instead. (Talk about Karma lol!) Daniel was untouched because he trusted God so much to protect him. He never lost his faith in God. God had a plan that whole entire time! The reason as to why this spoke to me so much is cause I walked away from the path God had set out for me about after I left high school and got my current job. I worked with drinkers, smokers, partiers, etc. I became super close to them and the fact that I was still so little, I thought I wanted to be like them. So carefree, so careless, reckless, I thought they were so much fun. It was fun at first, I’m not going to lie. Then I started talking to the wrong kinds of guys at work (mind you I was still with my current boyfriend at the time) and all those guys just wanted to sleep with me because of my age and appearance. I ended up loving the attention from the guys because cmon, who doesnt love attention now and days. (And before any of you assume, No I didn’t cheat on my boyfriend. Those guys would try to flirt with me at work but I never really gave them the time of day, like I said, i loved the attention only). I ended up loving the outside world more and more than the world with God in it that I forgot all about my Christian life. I stopped talking about my faith in God, I would focus on my popularity and other things that I shouldn’t of been paying attention to. I realized how bad it got when I would cry every single night after work because I was so stressed. It was bad. Being at church today was an eye opener for me. I realized how many people missed me and cared for me when I didn’t care for them while I was away. I realized how rooted in my faith I was before and how its going to take me a while to get back to that level again. I realized that God never left my side this whole entire time even when he should have left in the beginning of my rebellious era. He had a plan this whole entire time. He knew I was going to have a fallout eventually and I believe he made me steer away from his path for a reason. Today, I prayed for my relationship with God to get stronger. For me to be as rooted in Him as I was before. I prayed for Jacob and I, for us to grow stronger as I teach Jacob to walk with the Lord in hopes that it will bring him peace and comfort since he hasn’t been in a church for almost 12 years. I prayed for my family, for good health and good news coming our way soon once we hear about my residency case. And lastly, I prayed for my “friends”, I prayed that God single out the negative ones in my life and removed them so I can get rid of the negativity in my life. I also prayed that God keep safe the good ones in my life who have been there for me during my hard times. I know it will be a long journey. I know there will be hardships on this path again. But I am ready to face them all because I know I have a God who is stronger than any of us can imagine, a God who will protect me from all evil, a God who loved me so much that he died for my sins (which is alot to be honest), and a God who will never leave my side regardless of everything I go through.

March 24th, 2016

Sorry for the late blog post, work has been hectic but that’s a story for another time if i remember to blog again. Today’s blog will be a typical love blog. And before I get started, I am sometimes those people who has hated love all my 20 years of life so far. But I was lucky enough to be blessed to find who I think is my soulmate. So, let me get to the point of this.

So, when I got hired at my current job, I had to get tech certified trained (fancy word to just say I needed to learn how to help out with technical problems over the phone), I left my team being top agent. Before I left, we had 3 people join my team, one of the 3 being Jacob. We had one training where half was an in class training and the rest was on the phones. We were so available on the phones that our team started to have a dance party while waiting for calls to come in. That’s when I noticed Jacob. He was so quiet and kept to himself the whole night. He only talked to one guy that night but would occasionally look at me cause i was being loud as heck lol. We didnt talk at all that night. Fast forward 2-3 weeks after training and I went back to being on a team with Jacob. Jacob found out who I was because of my name. He always asked who I was because I wasn’t there and I had a really weird name. Little by little, I would start to talk to him at work and just pick on him. On one of his first days with us, we invited him to have lunch with the whole team so we could get to know him more…he sat across the table from me that day. Then out of no where, my coach said “Jacob, if your 18, and Irasema is 18, yall should totally date!” BOY WAS THAT THE MOST AWKWARD MOMENT AT WORK YET CAUSE JACOB RESPONDED BACK WITH TELLING EVERYBODY HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME. Dreams Crushed….for now. Either way, I started to look forward to work because we picked on each other SO much. In November 2015, he showed up to work super early one day and I was like “why are you here so early?” and he didnt want to tell me…..little did i know that he came in early to tell everybody he was quitting. I was so sad that day, I guess my feelings developed a little there but I forgot about him a little after that. I ended up finding him on facebook a couple weeks later and sent him a request. I sent him a message but he never responded back. Then out of the blue, in March, he responded back…..we haven’t stopped talking since then. We texted everyday, falling more in love with each other. He worked at a prision so the hours were way worse than mine. But I would stay up to talk to him because he was worth it. He quit the prision job to move to Houston to work. It was really bad because I hadn’t seen him since he quit my job and I got attached by that time. We would video chat through facebook to make things easier. It sucked so much. I would cry because all I wanted was to see him and the fact that he didnt know when he was coming back to the valley was worse. He ended up texting me one day out of no where that he was coming back and staying in the valley again. I was so happy knowing that he was back in the same town as me. I saw him the next day that I could and I was so happy because he was home. He has seen me at my high and low points in life. He accepts me for who I am. He makes me laugh so much, makes me realize that I can do anything I set my mind to, and supports and loves me unconditionally. There has been other guys trying to talk to me while I am with him but none of them compare to Jacob. People have tried to tell me they’re better but in reality, Jacob is SO amazing. My coach from work who said we should date is so happy that him and I are still together. She is the reason as to why him and I are together and we love her so so much. Although we fight with each other saying that my coach loves one of us more than the other, we owe it all to her. ┬áJacob has treated me like a princess since day 1. He cares so much about me, he is my shoulder to cry on whenever I am frustrated from work, he understands the stress my job brings me and listens to me vent out everything I have on my mind. He puts up with my random anger moment and takes all the shit I give him when he doesn’t deserve to get yelled at. He loves it when I say stupid stuff to make him laugh and act silly around him. He thinks I’m perfect when I feel like the most imperfect person to exist. He knows my whole story about my residency and stands by me completely. His arms are my safe haven and time freezes whenever we are together. He makes me the HAPPIEST girl in the whole entire world. He is truly the person I see myself walking down the aisle with. He is the one I picture buying a house with, buying a car, starting a family with, and so on. He is the biggest blessing in my life. He is my best friend but also the love of my life. He puts up with me and my selfie addiction, my snapchat addiction and also my shopping addictions. LOL. (and yes he has tried to take away my debit card sometimes and tell me to not spend my money all the time, its working btw). I never tell people about my love life, this is basically the first time I ever say it, but he is totally worth bragging about. (reason as to why i never brag about it at work is because everybody there is nosey af.) But yes, he is the love of my life and I couldn’t be any more blessed to have this guy in my life. He is one of a kind and I know that wherever life decides to take either one of us, we will follow each other and support each other endlessly. We’ve been together since March 24th, 2016. One year, 2 months so far…..and hopefully many more years and months together.

I Lived.

I thought I would be good at trying to write something everyday but that was a horrible expectation I had set for myself lol. Anyways, today is my day off from work and this week was so stressful and emotional. Had my cousin’s graduation Friday night which was so sentimental to me.

Let me give you a little background story on that. My cousin Jesus graduated from High School. He has alot of siblings, i think about 7 to be honest, he is the 3 youngest out of the kids and the FIRST to graduate from his family ever and be college bound. His older siblings? In jail or just have their own families and kids. He graduated RGV Lead Scholar, Texas Scholar, and was also in the Honors program for his class. He is a good kid to be honest, very involved in sports. He was Varsity football Junior and Senior year, Wrestling team Junior year, and Track and Field also. He was in the migrant program in school. His story is a pretty tough one, he never knew his father and still doesnt to this day, his mom abandoned him when he was about 9 years old along with his other younger brothers. She left them in the apartment they lived in for a couple of days while she went to basically go chase her ex sancho. The kids were closed to being placed into foster care but luckily, their grandma took them in. Jesus on the other hand, lived with his aunt under her care. I dont really talk to her even though she’s family but i can honestly say i am so happy she raised him. He is so respectful and has a really kind heart. He didnt grow up with the family he wanted or getting the love he wanted either but he proved EVERYBODY wrong. He was so happy when he saw me in the stands at the stadium graduation day. I look to that boy like if he were my little brother. I went to his football games whenever i got the chance, wrestling meets also, and spoiled the kid whenever i had the chance. He would never ask for much. He was and is so humble. As soon as they let us go onto the football field, I ran to go find him. The second i found him, I hugged him so much and told him how proud I was of him proving so many people wrong….I told him see you later when i left his graduation, little did i know that friday night was the last time i was going to see him since Monday, he boarded a flight to California to go work over there in the summer until he started College. I cried the whole night to be honest. He is going to start in Michigan State in the fall and will be majoring in Criminal Justice. I am so proud of him but i cant help being sad because he is like my little brother. I love him so insanely much and I miss him a lot already…but I know he will be fine and do great things when in Michigan. I couldn’t be any more proud of anybody else. His class song was I Lived by OneRepublic which fits his story so much. I’ve had the song on repeat so much lately. It reminds me of him so much because he never gave up, no matter how much he wanted, he took risks and made decisions no little kid should of. He is such a good role model to his little brothers. He lived through things he shouldnt have but he never gave less than 100% than what was expected him. He took every opportunity that was given to him and made the best of it. He is the only one I will ever brag about so much but because he has honestly grown into a remarkable young man….IMG_20170527_213346_011